PostHeaderIcon When is the Right Time to Bring Sex Into My Relationship?

March 5th, 2010 Author: Matt D Fuller

It’s often very hard to resist introducing sex into the early stages of a relationship when the attraction between two people is strong. It can be like trying to ply apart two magnetic forces that will inevitably join together. As magical as sex can be, sex also has the ability to come between two people. When sex is brought into a relationship, things start to change.

If a guy and girl decide on a non committed relationship with a sexual component being the main focus of the relationship, then that’s one thing, but, when there is a special connection of the romantic kind, if sex is brought into the equation too soon during the relationship, sex has the potential to bring down what could have been a wonderful new beginning.

For many men, sex can be a prerequisite in order for him to want to keep his new flame in his life. As a result, many women are having sex prematurely so as not to disappoint her man, or risk losing him. Whether the guy is in it for the sex or a long term relationship, he will more often still want sex either way – generally speaking, but holding off until the right time will win the girl a huge amount of regard from her man in the long run.

Certainly not all men are turned off forming a relationship with a woman who is too sexually forward too soon, but men can be very dismissive of a woman after having sex if he believes this is her normal behavior. If it’s a long term and secure relationship you desire, perhaps think twice about jumping into bed too soon if you have met someone you see as more than just a sexual partner.

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Author: Matt D Fuller
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PostHeaderIcon The Treatment of Sex Addiction – An Analytic Approach

March 5th, 2010 Author: Dorothy Hayden

It is well known among people in the 12-step sex programs that of all the addictions, sex is the most difficult to master. Far from the notion that sex addiction is the “fun” one, the suffering of dealing with this affliction is enormous. The compulsion is so compelling that it is common for members of the sex recovering groups to be unable to maintain any continuous time of sexual sobriety, giving way to despair and hopelessness. Before treatment, sexual enactment is the addict’s only source of safety, pleasure, soothing and acceptance. It vitalizes and connects. It relieves loneliness, emptiness and depression. Sex addition has been called the athlete’s foot of the mind: it is an itch always waiting to be scratched. The scratching, however, causes wounds and never alleviates the itch.

Furthermore, the percentage of people who go to therapy or a 12-step program is quite small. The majority of sexual compulsives live in isolation filled with feelings of shame. Almost 100% of the people who come to me for an initial consultation, whether it be for compulsive use of prostitutes, phone sex, a fetish, cross dressing, or masochistic encounters with dominatrixes, relay that beneath the shame they feel in telling me their story, they also experience a sense of freedom that comes from finally being able to share with another human being the hidden, shameful, sexually compulsive acts that imprison them.

This is a condition that gradually bleeds away everything the person holds dear. The life of a sex addict gradually becomes very small. The freedom of self is impaired. Energies are consumed. The rapacious need for a particular kind of sexual experience drives the addict to spend untold hours in the world of his addiction. Inexorably, the compulsion begins to exact higher and higher costs. Whether it be on the internet indulging in sexual fantasies with fantasy people, being on the phone to the sex hot-lines, or frantically searching the net and the S&M clubs for someone who will act out a particular, ritualized fetish fantasy, or cruising the bars searching for the “one” who will have sex in a public toilet, or going to dungeons to be whipped, flogged and humiliated, sex addiction is a devastating illness that takes an enormous toll. Friends slip away. Hobbies and activities once enjoyed are dropped. Financial security crumbles as sums as high as $40,000 or $50,000 a year are spent on sex. Then there is perpetual fear of exposure. Relationships with partners are ruined, as the appeal of intimate sex with a partner pales in comparison to the intense “high” of indulging in the dark and devious world of sexual compulsion.

What is a sex addict? Sex addiction, of course, has nothing to do with sex. Any sexual act or apparent “perversion” has no meaning outside of its psychological, unconscious context. A simple definition of sex addiction is not dissimilar to definitions of other addictions. But a simple definition of this complex and intractable condition doesn’t suffice. What sets sex addiction apart from other addictions and makes it so persistent is that the subject of sex touches on our innermost unconscious wishes and fears, our sense of self, our very identity.

Current treatment might include participation in a 12-step program, going to an outpatient clinic, working with the Patrick Carnes material, aversion therapy, or the use of medications to stave off hypersexuality. Most therapy is cognitive-behavioral, designed to help the patient to control or repress the instinct for a period of time, usually out of a desire to comply with the group norms of their 12-step meeting or a need to please the therapist. While I recognize the efficacy the 12-step programs to provide structure and support, in my opinion, the reason that relapse is so prevalent is that these treatment modalities do not effect long-term structural personality change that eliminates the compulsion at its roots. Current treatment does not aim to transform psychic energies so that the reality sector of the mind dominates the personality so that the impulse to act out can be understood and controlled.

While the definition of sex addiction is the same as that of other addictions (recurrent failure to control the behavior and continuation of the behavior despite increasingly harmful consequences), sexual compulsion is set apart from other addictions in that sex involves our innermost unconscious wishes, fears and conflicts. Sex addiction is a symbolic enactment of deeply entrenched unconscious dysfunctional relational patterns with self and others. It involves a person’s derailed developmental process that occurred as a result of inadequate parenting. Hence, permanent growth and change are most likely to occur in the arena of contemporary psychoanalysis, which seeks understanding and repair of these unconscious dysfunctional relational patterns along with the development of a more unified and structured sense of self. This new personality restructuring can better self-regulate feeling states without the use of a destructive defense like sexualization and can find meaning, enjoyment, intimacy, meaningful goal setting and achievement from attainable and appropriate sources in life.

The remainder of this paper will give a brief overview of the historical psychoanalytic views about sexual deviance, and will then articulate the current analytic understanding about the dynamics and treatment of sexual compulsions.

Any discussion of historical psychoanalysis must, ipso facto, begin with Sigmund Freud. Freud formulated that sexual deviance occurs due to an incomplete resolution of the Oedipus complex, with its concomitant castration anxiety. Unconscious castration anxiety occurs in the person’s present-day consciousness in the form of fear of confrontation, retaliation, or rebuke, a sense of inadequacy, and perhaps doubts about gender identity. Sex addiction, according to Freud, is a defensive way to cope with a tenuous sense of masculinity combined with unrelenting anxiety about sex, women, intimacy, aggression, and competition. Analysts that followed Freud held varying views. Sexual compulsions derive from an insatiable need for approval, prestige, power, bolstering of self-esteem, love and security which are experienced as being necessary for survival. The addict experiences the absence of sexual acting out as a threat to his very existence.

Characteristic of any addict is a long history of a disturbed mother-child relationship. An unempathic, narcissistic, depressed or alcoholic mother has low tolerance for the child’s stress and frustrations. Nor is she able to supply the empathy, attention, nurturing and support that foster healthy development. The result in later life is separation anxiety, fear of abandonment and a sense of imminent self-fragmentation. This anxiety sends the sex addict running to his eroticized, fantasy cocoon where he experiences safety, security, a diminution of anxiety as well as the quelling of an unconscious wish to establish and maintain the missing, yet essential tie to mother. Typical of this person is the hope that he can find an idealized “other” who can embody, actualize and make concrete the longed for endlessly nurturing parent. This approach is doomed to failure. Inevitably, the other person’s needs start to impinge on the fantasy. The result is frustration, loneliness and disappointment.

On the other hand, a mother can be overly intrusive and attentive. She may be unconsciously seductive, perhaps using the child as a replacement for an emotionally unavailable spouse. The child perceives the mother’s inability to set appropriate boundaries as seductive and as a massive disillusionment. Later in life, the addict is hypersexual and has trouble setting boundaries. Real intimacy is experienced as an engulfing burden. The disillusionment of not experiencing appropriate parental boundaries is acted out later in life by the addict’s unconscious belief that the rules don’t apply to him with regards to sex, although he may be regulated and compliant in other parts of his life.

A major theme for all addictions is that they have experienced profound and chronic need deprivation throughout childhood. Addicts in general sustain emotional injury within the realm of the mother-infant interaction as well as with other relationships. Intense interpersonal anxiety is the result of this early-life emotional need deprivation. In later life, the person experiences anxiety in all intimate relationships. Because the sex addict has anxiety about being unable to get what he needs from real people and because his desperate search for the fulfillment of unmet childhood needs inevitably end in disillusionment, he inevitably returns to his reliance on sexual fantasies and enactments to alleviate anxiety about connection and intimacy and as a way to achieve a sense of self-affirmation.

Sex, for the addict, begins to be his primary value and a confirmation of his sense of self. Feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, and worthlessness magically disappear while sexually preoccupied , through acting out or through spending untold hours on the internet. However, the use of sex to meet self-centered needs for approval or validation precludes using it to meet the intimacy needs of a cherished other. Characteristic of this kind of narcissism is the viewing of other human beings not as whole people who have their own feelings, wants and needs, but rather as deliverers of desperately needed satisfaction that shores up a fragile sense of self. This sets up a cycle wherein his narcissism prevents him from deriving satisfaction from mutual, reciprocal relationships in real-life. Sexualizing, once again, is returned to as a magical elixir wherein his needs are magically met without having to negotiate the very real vicissitudes of intimate relationships.

A client of mine, a 48-year-old attractive single man, is in the process of the breaking up of yet another relationship. After spending years of living a noxious childhood household, he went into his own world of fantasizing and masturbation as a way to soothe and protect himself.

“When I was a kid, I was obsessed with beautiful women in the magazines. When I was able to date, I went through one woman after another. In adulthood, I knew there was sadness and anger I didn’t want to face. To evade them, I had a steady stream of women who worshipped me, soothed me, paid attention to my needs. I went to peep shows and I visited prostitutes. Many a night I would spend hours in my car circling the block looking for just the right street-walker to give me oral sex in my car. One night I had sex with a transvestite. I cried all the way home.”

He met a girl whom he designated as “perfect – my redemption, my salvation.” He became engaged but soon lost interest in the sex, which he described as “boring”. While still engaged, he started picking up hookers for oral sex in the car and began compulsively using phone sex.

His current relationship is breaking up because he picked a woman for her youth and beauty (which reflected well on his narcissistic self). The rest of the story is predictable. They moved in together and the beautiful, young, sexy female started become real and having needs of her own. He admits he never felt warmth or love for her; she was merely a supplier of his narcissistic needs. As the relationship deteriorates, he fights the impulses to return to sex with strangers who don’t make demand on him.

Another client of mine, a 38-year-old married man, has a compulsion to visit prostitutes. Three years into the treatment, he was finally able to talk about his anger towards his mother for depriving him emotionally through neglect and for never touching or caressing him. He can now make a connection between visits to the prostitutes and his hostility against mother for depriving him of sensual pleasure. He got lost in the mire of his parents’ constant feuding.

“When I was very young I would put a blanket on my genitals as a kind of soothing which I wasn’t getting from my parents. The rest of my life was a struggle to find other ways to soothe myself. When I discovered prostitutes, I thought I was in heaven. I can get sex now and be in total control. I can have it immediately, any way I want it, whenever I want it. I don’t have to concern myself with the girl, as long as I pay her. I don’t have to concern myself with vulnerability and rejection. This is my controlled pleasure world. This is the ultimate antithesis of the deprivation of my childhood.”

The use of sexualization as a defense is a common theme that runs through the psychoanalytic literature. A defense is a mechanism the young child devises to psychologically survive a noxious family environment. While this way of protecting himself works well for a period of time, the continuous use of it as an adult is destructive to the person’s ongoing functioning and sense of well being.

By losing himself in sexual fantasies and constantly seeing others as potential sex partners, or by erotic internet enactments, the sex addict is able to significantly reduce and control a wide variety of threatening and uncomfortable emotional states. Most addicts control or bind potentially overwhelming anxiety via the addiction process. Diminution of depression, anxiety and rage are some of the pay-offs that operate to facilitate and maintain life in the erotic cocoon.

I quote another patient which illustrates a case of narcissistic personality together with the use of sexualization as a defense. He is a 52-year old attractive, successful single man.

“I went on a date the other night. She wanted sex. I didn’t. It’s predictable. I don’t think I can even maintain an erection anymore. While a spend untold hours compulsively websurfing to live in my erotic fantasies, when it becomes real, when you find someone who seems to be the embodiment of your sexual pre-occupation, interest soon wanes as her wants and needs come into the picture. Sometimes, I don’t even bother with the pursuit of real women, because I know the inevitable result is disillusionment. I’m simply not prepared to meet somebody else’s needs.

Oddly enough, my life is still dominated by sex. It becomes the lens through which I view everything. I go to a family gathering and get lost in sexual fantasies about my teenage nieces. I live in constant fear of being found out to be a “pervert”. I see a woman on the train dressed in a way that triggers me, and I’m ruined for the day. Regular sex just doesn’t do it for me anymore. It’s got to be bizarre or forbidden or “out of the box”. I arrive at work in an erotic haze. Women around me are all objects of sexual fantasy. I’m distracted; not focused. If something requires my attention, when real life intrudes and yanks me out of my sexual preoccupation, I get angry. Real life is so boring. Ordinary sex with a girlfriend holds no interest for me.”

This patient uses sexualization as a defense. He uses his sexual pre-occupation as a way to ward off chronic feelings of loneliness, inadequacy and emptiness born of a childhood trying to get nurturing from a withdrawn, depressed mother. When stress or anxiety begins to overwhelm the regulation of his emotions, he is beset by intense urges to indulge in his fantasies and enactments. Sexualization thus becomes his standard way of managing feelings that he perceives to be intolerable as well as a way of stabilizing a crumbling sense of self-worth.

It is my belief that sex addiction requires a contemporary psychoanalytic approach. Psychoanalysis changed drastically in the 1970’s with the work of a prominent psychoanalyst who jettisoned the Freudian approach and established a kind of treatment that is particularly useful in treating sex addiction. Contemporary analysts no longer conduct treatment three-times a week on the couch. They do not unearth hidden meanings, or remain silent, or put themselves on a “thrown” as being the “One Who Knows”. The process is a shared one and the relationship between patient and therapist is co-created and mutual.

Some contemporary psychoanalysts use the concept of a vertical split in treating the addict. The split exists from inadequate parenting which results in structural deficits in the personality. Patients often report that they feel fraudulent, living two separate lives with two different sets of values and goals. They feel they’re acting out a version of “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde.”

One sector of the personality, the one anchored in reality, is the responsible husband and father. This part of the person is conscious, adaptive, anchored in reality, structured, and often successful in business. This is also the sector that experiences guilt and shame about his sexual behaviors and ultimately drives him to seek therapy to ameliorate his misery.

The “Mr. Hyde” side of the vertical split has a completely different set of values and seems to be impervious to his own moral injunctions. “Mr. Hyde” represents the unconscious, split-off part of the personality. It is impulse-ridden, lives in erotic fantasy, and is sexualized, unstructured and unregulated. This side of the vertical split seems to be incapable of thinking impulses through, and thus is oblivious to the consequences of his behavior. This is the part of the self that is hidden, dark, driven and enslaved.

A comprehensive discussion of the actual process of therapy is beyond the scope of this paper. Suffice to say, the therapist uses him/herself as an instrument in integrating the split which results in personality structure building. Treatment bridges the gap of the split. Its aim is the establishment of a relationship with the therapist that regulates emotional states, is used as a “laboratory” to bring to consciousness maladaptive relationship patterns, provides empathy and understanding and reconstructs the childhood origin of the addiction. The goal is an integrated self that is able to merely experience a sexual fantasy without being preoccupied with it and without acting out a damaging sexual scenario.

The patient achieves some ability to self-regulate moods, and to seek out adequate and sustaining available supportive relationships both in and out of treatment. He is then free to put sexuality in its proper place and free up energies to gain satisfaction from real relationships, pursue creative or intellectual goals, obtain pleasure from hobbies and activities, and have a heightened sense of self-esteem, thus enabling him to end his isolation. He is then free to love, to have deeply satisfying, self-affirming sex, work to his potential, and experience being a valued member of the human community.

Dorothy Hayden, LCSW, is a New York-based psychotherapist who specializes in sexual addiction. She received her M.S.W. from New York University and her psychoanalytic training at the Post Graduate Center for Mental Health. She can be reached at dhayden@nyc.rr.com

Author: Dorothy Hayden
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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PostHeaderIcon How Do You Know When You Are Ready For Sex?

March 5th, 2010 Author: Jan Sullivan

As teens, emotions and hormones are running wild. A day seems like forever and a month seems like an eternity. So, you are dating a guy and you want to know when it’s time to take the next step. When is the right time to have sex? You’ve been dating for two months now and it seems like you have been going out for eternity. Should you be consummating the relationship by now?

Things you need to consider before giving that part of yourself away.

Number 1: Sex changes things. It changes your relationship from one of getting to know each other to having known one another in a very intimate and mature way. The question you need to ask yourself first is, “How well do I really know myself?” “Do I want this person to know this much about me?”

Number 2: Sex has its consequences. Pregnancy is a common result of unprotected sex. Are you ready to have a relationship with this person for the lifetime of the child you may create together? Sexually transmitted diseases also accompany unprotected sex. But don’t let birth control pills or condoms fool you into thinking sex is safe. Other drugs can interfere with birth control pills and pregnancy can still occur. And even if the condom doesn’t tear, there are still STDs that are smaller than the pores on a condom and can travel right through. Not to mention the psychological effects of exposing yourself to someone you don’t totally know and trust.

Number 3: Sex may be all “he’s” after. For some guys who are competitive in nature, all they are after in a relationship is the “kill.” He will date a girl and pressure her until she gives in and gives herself away to the guy. Then the guy leaves or breaks up with her because he got what he was after.

Number 4: What you have is precious and should be saved for the one you have committed your life to. What a perfect gift to give to your spouse on your wedding night. Think about it, no history, no disease, nothing to live up to, both of you learning each other in a very intimate setting with the person you totally trust to expose your very being to. What could be more special than that?

How do you know when you are ready for sex? When you totally trust the person you are with to give not just your sex to them, but your very being. When you see your future family in their eyes, and they see the same picture, then you’ll know. For some of you, that may come earlier than others. For some of you, it won’t be for many years. But it is worth the wait.

Jan Sullivan
AprilWord

Jan Sullivan received a Masters Degree in Youth Ministry from Asbury Theological Seminary. She served as a youth pastor for thirteen years in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. She published her first book, Forever Family, in July 2008. Her second, Never Alone, was published in August 2009. She lives in Lexington, Kentucky with her dog Abby and spends her time loving teenagers and consuming Christian fiction. Modeling her life after Christ, the great storyteller, Jan hopes that her stories will lead young people to make decisions to follow Christ.

jan@aprilword.com

http://www.aprilword.com

Author: Jan Sullivan
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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PostHeaderIcon Work on Your Relationship by Holding Off Sex

March 5th, 2010 Author: Tina L. Jones

Are you in the habit of holding off sex? Or do you simply go for in at the slightest invitation? Are you surprised when the guy doesn’t call you back after a night of quick and easy sex? Many women fall into the trap of having sex with a man thinking they’ll then go on to win his heart. But things rarely work out that way. In fact, chances are the guy you’re crazy for is going to get a less than favorable impression of you.

Ever since casual sex became socially acceptable, women have maintained the confused notion that sex is a free and easy way of being accepted by men. Unfortunately, they are usually accepted by men who simply want free and easy sex, and nothing more. While it’s true that women can go out these days and be as sexually promiscuous as they’d like and face little or no social repercussions, it is still a risky way of trying to win a man’s heart.

Holding off sex is a good way of weeding out the men who simply want sex from the men who may be interested in a long and serious relationship. But it is also a great way of leaving more space for you to get to know the man you’re dating before making that move. Sex has a tendency of getting in the way and blinding us to things we really need to see clearly.

Those first weeks or months of dating can be very exciting and you shouldn’t be in a rush to extinguish that excitement. The not knowing is a great way to fan that excitement. The first time he reaches for your hand, he doesn’t know how you’ll react. And the first time he leans in to kiss you, he wonders if you’ll kiss him back.

All of this heightens the anticipation and the eagerness to find out more about you, to explore your every touch and to discover your body, one little portion at a time. If you give in and let him have all you have to offer, there’s nothing more to discover.

How long you should wait can vary. Do you see each other frequently and do you spend quality time together? Have you learned enough about one another to know you’re ready and willing to go further? Are you seeing each other exclusively? The path to the bedroom should be an unhurried and exciting journey you two take together. Chances are, when the time is right, you’ll know it’s time to stop holding back the sex.

Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that ninety percent of women have never heard. You have got to see this!

This article is contributed by Tina Jones. Tina is part of the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women who want to understand male psychology, how to attract men, and find true love. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Author: Tina L. Jones
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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PostHeaderIcon 2 Sex Tips For Guys – Learn the Dirty Secret of Giving Her an Explosive Orgasm Every Time

March 5th, 2010 Author: Amy A.

Who else wants some quick and easy sex tip to help YOUR girl have a better, faster and more powerful orgasm? If you are one of the millions of men out there whose living with, or dating a women who is NOT enjoying sex as much as she should this article was written for you!

Sex Tip #1: Learn Her Landscape Before You Begin

Want to know one of the biggest complaints women have about sex? They don’t believe their man understands (or appreciates) her body. So many men seem to NOT understand the mechanics of what makes a woman “tick” in bed, that it’s no surprise so few of us really have fulfilling sex lives! Want to be one of the select few who takes your woman to places of passionate pleasure each and every time? Learn what she likes, and where she likes it and you’re halfway home!

Sex Tip #2: Einstein and Erotica

Do you remember the old famous saying – “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”? It applies here in a major league way! Want to turn your woman on in wild and woolly ways? Try new things. Take her to NEW places each and every night… and I mean that literally, and figuratively alike. Keep her guessing, and on the edge of erotic anticipation and often as possible, and she’ll experience amazing orgasms just like magic. ( and often automatically!)

Want more? Anatomical Compatibility is Important Too

Yes, you’ve got to make sure your “parts” work well together for truly great sex from a woman’s perspective. If you don’t fit… simply talk about it. Ask her for suggestions, or make some yourself. The simple truth is that men can ( and often to) simple and easy natural exercises which can lead to tremendous size gains while erect, and this can often solve the problem super fast. But for a woman to truly experience explosive orgasms, your bodies have to “match” to some degree… or she’s simply not going to feel as good as possible. 

Bonus Tip: Don’t overlook the obvious, either. According to a huge survey (no pun intended..:-) just last year, over 92% of women privately admitted they would prefer their man had a more powerful penis for longer, stronger and simply sensationally sweet sex. Why? Well… for one, it’s a huge turn on to be with a large guy, and as most women will admit, it simply feels much better too! And no you DON’T need to buy any pills, pumps, potions or lotions to amp UP your size and do it in a hurry! Simple male enhancement exercises are a proven way to give yourself the sort of great gains and sensational size that will make EVERY woman whimper. (and all your friends green with envy to boot!)

Author: Amy A.
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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PostHeaderIcon Glass Sex Toys

March 5th, 2010 Author: Matt L Carter

So, you’re getting ready to purchase a new sex toy and on your journey throughout the numerous products available, you find that glass toys are everywhere! Usually the last thing you would think about shoving in or around your intimate areas would be glass. So, how did glass sex toys manage to make their way to extreme popularity when it comes to stimulating such areas?

Not only have glass sex toys managed to make their way throughout the adult industry, but they have become highly recommended. Glass dildos are now the sex toy of choice and they have been featured on Playboy and HBO. Most sex toys are efficient, useful, and essential. However, glass sex toys have something to offer that the others do not have. They add a unique touch and can be very elegant in design. Unlike most plastic or jelly dildos, glass toys can be one-of a kind and come with swirls and twirls, polka-dots, or even multi-colored. They are absolutely beautiful to look and since they are glass, they maintain their appearance no matter how many times they are used.

Since glass sex toys are beautifully designed and easy on the eyes, does this mean they are not as efficient as the others? Well, that can depend on the user, but there are many positive features glass toys have to offer. Glass toys are hypoallergenic and even dishwasher safe. How many other sex toys can you put in the dishwasher for a quick and hands-free washing? They are also slicker than the traditional materials used for sex toys and lubricants will last much longer. That is a definite advantage when considering the use of a sex toy. Glass sex toys will not stain and they will not smell. This is because glass is non-porous and does not hold bacteria and dirt like porous materials such as jelly and cyberskin. Also, glass is great at holding temperatures! So, if you prefer a warm toy, place the glass in some warm water for a more pleasurable experience. You can even place the glass toy in some chilled water for a cooler experience but it is not recommended that you freeze glass (even though you can).

Most glass toys have gone through extensive testing and are made with the highest quality of glass making them extremely difficult to break. However, it is highly suggested that you beware of using a damaged or defective glass toy. To avoid using a defective or chipped glass toy, simply do an inspection. Take notice of the appearance and feel all over it with your fingers before inserting it into your intimate areas. If you never imagined yourself using a sex toy made from glass, you should definitely give it a try and see what everyone is talking about! The reward can be well worth the curiosity for many years!

Author: Matt L Carter
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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PostHeaderIcon Romantic Recovery Plan – Is Sex Dying in America Or Can We Revive Sexual Passion in Relationships?

March 5th, 2010 Author: Hadley Finch

Americans are not easing the stress of tough economic times by making love more often. We are watching more TV instead of having sex. Find out why sex is dying in America, and learn how to revive erotic attraction and restore your passion for life and love with America’s favorite Rabbi and relationship expert as your romantic guide.

Is sex really dying in America?

Yes, according to best-selling author, TV host and America’s favorite Rabbi, Shmuley Boteach. In a recent interview conducted by the President of JDate, a premiere online dating site, Rabbi Shmuley revealed startling statistics to show us how sex is dying in America:

- Many Americans are watching 35 hours of TV each week versus spending 7 minutes having sex once a week.
- One in three American couples have sexless, platonic connections.
- A quarter of American husbands spend an hour per day downloading porn.
- Most singles aren’t having partnered sex.
- Only a small minority are having sex in America.

Can we revive our dormant sex lives?

Sex is a primal urge and powerful human instinct. Rabbi Shmuley wrote his new book, Kosher Sutra, to reveal secrets of erotic attraction and suggest ways couples can enhance their sex life, intimate life and romantic life.

The principles of erotic attraction do not change. Eroticism is a universal precept. Rabbi Shmuley explains 8 sacred erotic principles in his book that work the same for married couples and singles in relationships or living together.

One of the erotic principles Rabbi Shmuley recommends is to create a sense of mystery and forbiddeness in your relationship. If your enduring relationship has lost its mystery, you can revive it.

One couple who read the book revived the mystery by limiting their naked time together. Being naked in front of your partner can become a prize that gets your partner’s attention instead of the same-old daily pattern.

Rabbi Shmuley’s 8 sacred, erotic principles will stimulate your romantic recovery and restore your erotic passion — as soon as you turn off the TV, go to the bookstore to buy Kosher Sutra, and start using the secrets of erotic attraction to spark up your existing relationship. Embracing these erotic principles also will help singles attract the great love of your life.

And if you’re single and seeking to meet your great love, I invite you to enjoy a free month membership in the Singles Club Of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient, optimistic spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.

The Singles Club was created by author, Hadley Finch–a real-life Carrie Bradshaw who writes about love and relationships. Her articles, podcasts and novel, TRIBE OF BLONDES, are inspired by her online dating adventures in 3 continents and 200 blind dates after her long marriage ended in divorce.

Hadley makes sure that singles never have to go on another blind date again, since they meet through video chats, special events and travel vacations in the Singles Club. Claim your free, 30-day trial membership when you visit http://www.tribeofblondes.com and click on SINGLES CLUB. Enjoy!

Author: Hadley Finch
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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PostHeaderIcon How to Last Longer During Sex – Helpful Tips to Impress Her Every Time

March 5th, 2010 Author: Hugh Benson

For a lot of guys, lasting longer during sex is a big problem. Premature ejaculation is a common problem that has a lot of guys embarrassed and feeling like less of a man. If this has happened to you, you know far too well just how emasculating this problem is. Meanwhile, all you keep hearing are stories from your friends about how they had sex for more than 2 hours last night while you could barely last 5 minutes. This just isn’t fair.

All you want to be able to do is have longer sex with your girl. You want her to enjoy every single moment of it and to keep going until she is completely satisfied. You want her to tell you to stop. Although this all seems unrealistic, it is possible for you to increase your stamina and impress your girl every single time you have sex. You don’t need to talk to anyone about your problem because your answers are here.

Some ways that will help you last longer during sex include using a thicker condom. If you use a condom that is thicker, you won’t be under constant stimulation. Also, get some thicker condoms that are ribbed. That way your girl can have more stimulation during sex. Another great way to increase your stamina is to masturbate before sex. If you already have an orgasm a few hours before you and your girl get together, you won’t be prone to premature ejaculation. Try these tips tonight and you are bound to see some improvement.

Premature ejaculation is a problem that plagues a lot of men. It destroys your self esteem because it makes you feel like less of a man. You constantly worry about your girlfriend leaving you and that is no way for any guy to live. There is a way to help you last longer in bed so you can start impressing your girl.

To find out more about how to stop premature ejaculation and start lasting longer in bed tonight, visit this Helpful Site!

Author: Hugh Benson
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Programmable pressure cooker

PostHeaderIcon 7 Tips For Better Sex

March 5th, 2010 Author: Trey Osborne

Far too many couples get caught up in the daily grind of everyday life and before you know it you suddenly find that your sex life has steadily declined and quite frankly that isn’t what you were expecting when you got into this relationship. 

However there is hope if you follow some of these suggestions you can get your sex life back on track and start enjoying the kind of sex you had from the start.
 
Below are 7 simple and easy tips that will have you on your way to having better sex in no time.

  1. For women taking an erotic dance class or series of erotic dance classes can spice up your sexual relationship by teaching you how to be comfortable in your own body and becoming one with it.
  2. Consider adding a quality sexual lubricant into your bedroom like Carrageenan All Natural Personal lubricant to use during foreplay and more.
  3. Take a romantic weekend getaway together to some place where the two of you can enjoy some quality time together and don’t forget to bring Carrageenan and maybe even a bottle of G Female Stimulation Gel for some added intensity.
  4. Purchase a couple of sex games as these can be very fun and help the two of you open the lines sexual of communication.
  5. Buy some sexy lingerie for her and sexy underwear for him. Maybe even consider going shopping together for it so that the two of you can fantasize together what it will be like seeing each other in the sexy undergarments that you have purchased.
  6. Start exercising more often preferably with each other. When you feel that you are sexy, your partner will be even more attracted to you and when you exercise together it also creates that bonding time that is so often a precursor to having a great sexual relationship.
  7. If you aren’t having sex very often with your partner, consider making it a priority to do so. In fact, this is where the second tip of getting a good quality lubricant like Carrageenan All Natural Personal lubricant can come in handy as one application has the power to get either partner in the mood rather quickly.

If you are looking to improve the quality of your sex life in any relationship as long as you make a considerable effort to follow these 7 simple tips you can find yourself experiencing over and over again what sex was like when the two of you first started engaging in sexual activities and enjoyed exploring the newness of the person that you were and still are attracted to.

Trey Osborne is consider by many to be one of the leading experts on sexual health and enhancement.

He provides a variety of different reviews and sex related advice which you can find on http://www.YourAdultSearch.com

To discover which sexual lubricants have been rated the best by men and women just like you visit the Top 10 Personal Lubricants now.

Author: Trey Osborne
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: PCB Prototype & Manufacturing

PostHeaderIcon Turn Sex Into the Love Potion to Keep Your Woman Attracted to You Forever

March 5th, 2010 Author: Vince Valentino

Sex is the ultimate way to attract a women. Here is why, it’s because sexual intercourse is the most emotional act we as humans can do. Of course you can also create attraction by social means. There are tons of good (well and some shabby) books on how to approach a women, hold good conversations and getting a woman’s number. But because every social interaction involves an environment with other people, we make sure not to let these emotions not run to high.

Many men also believe that once they finally have sex with the girl that they’ve succeeded at seducing her. But since you don’t know each others body and each others deepest emotions, sex with a new girl is a new experience. In order to become really good you will need to be able to become completely aligned with the women you have sex with.

When having sex it’s impossible to hide your emotions from your woman. During and after sex you can connect with her deepest emotions once she surrenders herself to you. At this time you can create so much attraction that she will be loyal to you for ever. Women will never forget you once they can surrender their heart to you and feel the incredible sensations of boundless love and attraction.

This way women will also never cheat on you. Here is why, it’s because if you provide her with great sex, deep attraction and intensive emotions, she will have no reason to leave you as no one compares to you. You can even have sex with other women and she will still be loyal.

As you are reading this you begin to understand that there is a lot more to having sex. Instead of figuring it all out on your own, you owe it to yourself to give your woman wild screaming orgasms by checking out the ‘500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets’ eBook.

Click here [http://www.datingdebunked.com/lovemaking-tips] for more info.

Or check out the 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets review and get ‘Double Your Online Dating’ as a Bonus for FREE.

Author: Vince Valentino
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Smart cooker

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